Faking My Own Suicide
by Pen Syle Vania
Summary: its been 2 years since Sheldon killed himself and now he's back In Pasadena will Amy recognize him or will Sheldon stay dead?
1. Chapter 1

** "Faking My Own Suicide"**

**A/N: first fanfic sorry if spelling is bad that's my fault please review if you have time constructive criticism welcome tell me what you think oh now I'm rambling well I better stop talking now**

**Chapter One**

"Amy wait! Come back"  
Sheldon said running down all the flights of stairs trying to catch up to Amy It was their date night and Amy wanted to add cuddling to the relationship agreement but Sheldon said no and that's when Amy lost it she got mad and stormed out of Leonard and Sheldon's Apartment and Sheldon went running after her trying to apologize finally Sheldon caught up to Amy Right before she opened the door to her car

"Amy…I'm…I'm sorry…I upset you" Sheldon said trying to catch his breath

"Sheldon why don't you want to move our relationship forward?" Amy asked

"Why would…I want to do that? Our relationship is fine as it is" Sheldon said

"maybe for you" Amy said  
"But I have needs Sheldon"

"Needs? Amy you and I are superior human beans if you really do have needs do you want me to teach you Kolinar?" Sheldon asked

"No Sheldon I don't want you to teach me Kolinar!" Amy screamed

she was upset that Sheldon didn't want to move the relationship forward and she was mad that he wanted to teach her Kolinar would he ever give her what she needed? Would he ever care for her like she did for him? No she had been with him for years and he still doesn't want to move the relationship forward so Amy made up her mind

"Sheldon I'm terminating the relationship agreement" she said sadly

"What why?" Sheldon asked confused

"Because Sheldon you won't move the relationship forward"

"But Amy the relationship is fine as it is" Sheldon said

"I'm sorry Sheldon but if you don't want to move the relationship any further then I'm terminating it" Amy said as she waited for Sheldon's answer

A million thoughts went rushing through Sheldon's mind if he moved the relationship forward he could be with Amy but he would have to deal with the** GERMS** that he hated so much and he would be distracted and not do his work but if he didn't he would** NEVER EVER** see Amy** AGAIN **and to be perfectly honest to himself it would kill him if he couldn't see her he had gotten very attached to her and it would hurt him if he left him but that was natural right? He was used to her company so it was only natural for him to miss her right? And he cared for her more than he was willing to admit He was used to her being around him and he took so much time adding date nights to his schedule but there was more to it he felt a warm feeling in his stomach when she was around he was suddenly nervous but he didn't know why and he was Afraid of that feeling but he couldn't put his selfishness behind him so in the end he did what Amy knew he was going to do he uttered the words that he and Amy both feared

"No…Amy I'm sorry" He said  
you could hear the sincereness and honesty in his voice she was surprised she had never heard him say something with so much emotion too bad the words he said with so much emotion were the ones she dreaded to hear she smiled sadly and said  
"That's what I thought bye Sheldon" she said and kissed Sheldon on the lips it was a closed mouth kissed and it was only for a couple of seconds but it sad and sweet then Amy pulled Away got into he car and drove away crying leaving a heartbroken Sheldon alone at night out side of his apartment building and to make matters worse it started to rain but Sheldon didn't care he missed Amy too much already to care and Sheldon did something Penny Howard Raj and Leonard never thought the emotionless robot man could do he started crying now he was kind of glad that it was raining at least now it would hide his tears everyone told him this would happen he should have seen it coming

**Clue one:** Penny said that Amy was a women with needs and that she would leave him if he didn't change Sheldon didn't take her seriously

**Clue two:** Leonard told him that Stuart liked Any and that he should be worried especially if he didn't want to move the relationship forward Sheldon ignored him

**Clue three**: Amy constantly tried to engage Sheldon in any physical contact she could Sheldon just lectured her about how she could be spreading her germs

If it was anyone's fault that Amy left him it was his own he really should have seen it coming maybe he did maybe he just didn't want to lose Amy

Sheldon went inside his apartment building and climbed all the stairs he was wet cold and he was heartbroken finally he climbed the last flight of stairs and he was so deep in thought that he didn't notice Penny and Leonard making out right on his spot

"Sorry Sheldon I'll move" Penny said hoping not to get another strike because then she'd have to take the class again  
But Sheldon didn't even hear her he just went into his room and slammed the door hard

"What's his problem?" Penny asked

"Who knows it's Sheldon" Leonard said "Now where we're we"

"Not now Leonard I'm worried about Sheldon"

"were all worried about Sheldon" Leonard said "It's Sheldon"

"no not that it's just he looked kinda sad almost like he was gonna cry"

"This is Sheldon were talking about"

"I know I'm just worried"  
Penny said

"Penny in all the years I've know Sheldon I've never seen him cry I don't think he's is capable of crying" Leonard said

"I don't know he looked pretty sad and he was soaking wet" Penny Said still worried

"I'm sure he's just upset he got his clothes wet" Leonard said

Just then Sheldon came out of his room  
"Hey Buddy how you doing" Leonard said

"Fine" Sheldon said

"Wattcha doing"

"Shower" Is all Sheldon said before going into the bathroom a while later Sheldon came out of the shower in his flash shirt and his khaki pants Leonard and Penny were watching a movie while cuddling on Sheldon's spot but again Sheldon didn't notice or more likely he didn't care Leonard noticed this and said

"Sheldon are you okay? You've been acting kind of strange even for you"

"Fine" Sheldon said

"wait today's Thursday right?" Penny asked Leonard

"Yeah why? Oh! Right date night did something go wrong with Amy?" Leonard asked  
he was sure this was the cause of his friends strange behavior

"No" Sheldon said he tried to keep his eye from twitching "everything is just fine with Amy just fine" Sheldon said trying to convince mostly himself his eye didn't twitch as much he was getting better at lying but Leonard still knew he was lying so did Penny Leonard was about to point this out but Penny stopped him

"That's great sweetie we were just worried that's all" Penny said Leonard gave her a confused looked but Penny ignored him

"Right Leonard?" Penny said

"Right" Leonard said still confused but he didn't want to fight with Penny so he just agreed

"Right" Sheldon said and went into his room

"why did you do that Penny he was obviously lying" Leonard said

"I know but it'll just make it worse" Penny said

"you right" Leonard said

"do you think the Shamy broke up?" Penny asked

"I hope not I can't handle any more cats" Leonard said Remembering the time Sheldon and Amy broke up well they didn't really break up because they weren't technically a 'couple'

Sheldon was in his room thinking of Amy he missed her already he wanted to be with her again but he couldn't give he what she wanted even though he wanted to although he hated to admit it he had urges but he always suppressed them that is until he met Amy he remember when she first kissed him it felt fascinating but he was scared too scared that she would push their relationship forward he was happy that they rebooted their relationship in the morning though and when cuddled it felt nice no exchange of bodily fluids or saliva they were just close to each other He thought that he could move the relationship forward but not fast enough for Amy he felt terrible maybe it was for the best to be honest he didn't deserve Amy he was too selfish and self centered but he couldn't stand the thought of Amy with other men it made his blood boil he was afraid they would use her or hurt her and the thought was unbearable but Sheldon didn't think about this for a long time because eventually he drifted off into sleep

Amy was eating ice cream and crying she knew Sheldon couldn't give her what she needed so she broke up with him it was for the best right? So why did she feel so terrible?  
"Maybe because of that look on his face" Amy thought it was true he looked like someone killed his MeeMaw to think she caused him that pain made her feel terrible Maybe she should go back and apologize to Sheldon but then he will never change and it would make her feel worse  
Amy thought about her situation with Sheldon but soon drifted off to sleep

The next morning Amy woke up and was surprised that she had a text from Sheldon

**"Amy I'm sorry please come back I miss you :( "** it said

Amy was surprised that Sheldon apologized and she was even more shocked that he said that he missed her  
"Maybe he really was sorry" Amy thought but she knew that if she accepted his apology he would just be a jerk again So she wouldn't she couldn't accept his apology even though she missed him too a lot more then she was willing too admit

At work Sheldon's phone buzzed and he was happy when he saw it was Amy who texted him back but his happiness was soon replaced by sadness when he read the text

**"No I…I just can't I'm sorry :("**

Who knew his world could fall apart in less than ten seconds

**A/N: As for the title of the story you'll understand it later on on the story so what do you think not completely terrible right please review I want to know what you think please**


	2. Chapter 2

**Faking My Own Suicide**

**A/N: thanks for reading review please**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything from TBBT all rights go to chuck Lorre and Bill Prady**

**Chapter Two**

3 months had gone by since Sheldon and Amy broke up and Leonard was worried about Sheldon he was acting strange he would hardly talk and when he would talk it would only be for a short amount of time he wouldn't even say anything when they went to restaurants and they got his order wrong he would just sigh and eat his food and he would just work all day he was getting really close to getting a Nobel prize after sheldon gave Leonard a black eye he called Sheldon's mom but it made it worse he stopped going to halo night and paint-balling but he did stop drinking Leonard barely saw him anymore except in the morning and when he drove him to work in the morning and back from work though every time Leonard asked Sheldon if everything was okay he said he was fine and changed the subject

Amy wasn't doing any better in the beginning she would cry all the time and Penny and Bernadette would always try and cheer her up but then she just through herself into her work so she didn't have to think about Sheldon she would pretend she didn't love him anymore and maybe in time it would be true  
Amy wanted to hang out with Penny and Bernadette but they were going to eat pizza with the guys but Penny said that she should come and that she shouldn't let Sheldon get in her way of having fun but Amy was still not convinced but then Penny promised that if Sheldon said anything to upset her she would go all Nebraskan on his ass so Amy reluctantly agreed

the whole day at work Amy was thinking about Sheldon she hadn't seen him since they broke up at first Sheldon kept texting and calling her to try to apologize he even visited her a few times but she always told him to go way Sheldon kept trying to apologize every minute of every day for a whole month! He even sent her gifts in the mail like roses with an apology card but eventually he saw it wasn't working so he gave up he started to send less text then phone calls and visits and finally the gifts and one day it all stopped all at once eventually everything ends but she was surprised on how suddenly they stopped one day she text messages and a lot of missed phone calls and a lot of roses and card the next day nothing Amy felt sad when they stopped even though she never read any of the text or picked up any of the phone calls an she threw away all the roses he gave her she just felt sad like if Sheldon completely left her life forever

Sheldon was at work in his office working and waiting ever since he broke up with Amy he became less social he would stop eating with his friends he built wall  
around himself he didn't want to be hurt anymore but behind those walls he was sad and lonely his heart hurt he hadn't seen Amy in a while he even visited the doctor a couple of times but the doctor said he was perfectly healthy and suggested that maybe the pain was caused by emotional problems Sheldon went to a different doctor after that and the doctor told him he might have depression an gave him some pills Sheldon had to take them when he woke up before he went to bed an before and after a meal Leonard was worried about the pills but Sheldon told him it was fine

Today Sheldon was trying to figure out an equation he was stuck on for the past month then Leonard knocked on his office door  
"Yes Leonard" Sheldon said

"Come on it time to go home"

"No I need to figure out this out" Sheldon said gesturing towards his whiteboard

"Sheldon if we don't leave we now your schedule Is going to be  
ruined" Leonard said

"fine just let me get my Things"  
Sheldon said getting his stuff

"Come on lets go" Leonard said

"Coming!" Sheldon said

After Sheldon and Leonard came back from getting the pizza they waited for every one to arrive Raj and Howard were the firsts one the arrive

"Hey Howard Hi Raj" Leonard said

"Hey Leonard Hey Sheldon" Raj and Howard said

Sheldon just nodded like he always did when he first started doing this they were worried but now they were used to it

Next to arrive was Bernadette

"Hi guys" she said

"Hi Bernie" Howard said giving her a quick peck on the lips

"Hey Bernadette" Leonard said

Raj was sober so he just waved and Sheldon just nodded

"Penny is not here yet?" Bernadette asked Leonard

"No she should be here soon though" Leonard as if on cue Penny walked through the door

"Hey Pen-" Leonard stopped mid sentence because Amy was behind her the room was silent

Sheldon's heart stopped for a second when he saw her he hadn't seen her since the break up even though he tried to apologize He even visited her a couple but he gave up after a month when he saw it wasn't working  
The room was silent for a long time and Amy was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable especially when Sheldon wouldn't look her in the eye the silence was broken by Penny  
"Well aren't you guys going today hi to Amy" She said  
"Hi Amy" everyone said except for Raj and Sheldon Raj waved and Sheldon again just nodded stood up and went to his room

"Were did Sheldon go?" Amy asked Leonard

"Probably to go hide in his room I'll get him" Leonard said

"Wait! Leonard what happened to eye?!" Amy asked worry in her voice  
The room was silent again

"um…I fell? Yeah I fell" Leonard said  
"are you sure it doesn't look like you fell it looks like you got hit?"

"No I fell anyway I should go get Sheldon" Leonard said trying to change the subject but on his way he bumped in to Sheldon  
"Oww!" Sheldon said

"Sheldon? Sorry I was just about to get you were did you go?"

"To get my pills I forgot them" Sheldon said showing him the pills

Pills? Amy thought she didn't know Sheldon took pills first Leonard's eye then Sheldon taking pills

"Sheldon why do you take pills?" Amy asked

The room went silent as they waited for Sheldon to respond  
Sheldon got a water bottle from the fridge before responding

"Because the doctor told me too" Sheldon said then he took the pills and drank them with the water

"No why do you take them is it for allergies?" Amy asked Sheldon

"Well Amy if you must know it's for my depression" Sheldon said calmly

Amy regretted saying it she didn't know that Sheldon had depression she felt bad it was her fault she heard from Penny that he wasn't doing well but she didn't know that he had depression

"oh ok" was all Amy could say in response

the rest of the evening was awkward especially since Amy had to sit next to Sheldon

Sheldon had trouble breathing next to Amy he felt like was running out of air he wanted to grab her hand cuddle with her and kiss her he forgot how much he missed her touch and smile but Amy didn't care so he just sat there quietly eating while the others were catching up on what Amy was doing after he was finished eating half his food he got up and got his pills again and swallowed them with some water Amy noticed this

"Sheldon your just took those pills?" She asked concerned

she was afraid he was becoming addicted to the pills

"I know" Sheldon said

"Then why are you taking them again it hasn't even been a hour" Amy said

"I got full" Sheldon said

"Sheldon stop avoiding the question why did you take the pills!" She asked her voice rising with anger and concern

The whole room was once again silent and they were staring at Sheldon and Amy

"I don't understand didn't I just answer the question?" Sheldon asked

"No now tell me why you took those pills again" Amy asked still angry but her voice now calmer

"I took them because I have to take them in the morning when I wake up before breakfast after breakfast after work Before lunch after lunch when I come back home from work before dinner after dinner and when it's time to go to bed and then all over again does that answer you question" Sheldon said he was a little annoyed that she was asking him all these questions  
"And why are you asking anyway it's not it's important to you"

Amy was shocked how many times he had to take the pills maybe he had serious depression she was also felt a pang of guilt because Sheldon thought she didn't care about him

"I'm sorry Sheldon I should not have asked I was just worried"  
Amy said

"worried about what?" Sheldon asked

"You of course" Amy said

"Well you shouldn't I can take care of myself" Sheldon said and took another pill

"Sheldon don't take more pills it hasn't even been 5 minutes since your last one" Amy said

"I have to I'm going to bed" Sheldon said and he left Amy feeling worried for Sheldon he was acting strange

"Guys what happened to Sheldon over the past 3 months?" Amy asked

**A/N: Don't forget to review please **


	3. Chapter 3

**Faking My Own Suicide**

**A/N: I'd like to thank MissMusicGeek13 for doing a wonderful job as my beta-reader.**  
**I'd also like to thank everyone who read and reviewed.**

**Chapter Three**

"Guys what happened to Sheldon over the past 3 months?" Amy asked  
"Well…" hesitated Penny, "We should probably tell you that he didn't handle the break up too well" said Penny not looking Amy in the eye.  
"No, it's more than that..." Amy looked quiet for a moment, "He was acting weird the whole time and he didn't ask Leonard if the order was right. He just ate it and he didn't talk the whole time, which is strange because he usually talks at every chance he gets so what's wrong with him?" Amy asked.

"Umm…" Penny looked at Leonard nervously, "Um, well Leonard is going to tell exactly what happened, right Leonard?"  
"Why me?" said Leonard complaining.

"**RIGHT, LEONARD?**" said Penny repeating the words again with her voice sounding louder.  
"Yeah." said Leonard who was scared of what Penny would do if he said no.  
"Okay, Amy, let me tell you what happened from the beginning." said Leonard.

"Go on, I'm listening." said Amy.

"When you broke up with  
Sheldon, he couldn't handle the pain he felt so he kept on asking me for advice on how to apologize. He started texting you almost every day trying to apologize and he always checked his messages. When he saw it wasn't working, he started calling you and leaving you messages when you didn't reply or answer any of his calls. Sheldon started panicking when he saw it wasn't working and he would ask me to drive him to your house every day, and he would stay outside when you didn't answer one time. He even slept outside of your door the whole night and waited for you-"

"Wait, he waited outside the whole night to apologize?" asked Amy interrupting Leonard.

"Sheldon was heartbroken when you wouldn't talk to him, so as I was saying he waited outside your apartment all day until I told him to stop because I was worried he spent most of his night and days there. But he never listen and that's when he started sending you gifts like roses and chocolates, he was wasting A LOT of money so I…" Leonard was quiet for a moment, looking nervous.  
"What did you do?" asked Amy.  
"Um..." said Leonard hesitating,"I yelled at him and told him to grow up, to move on, how you wouldn't forgive him because he never moved the relationship forward. Well, he seemed almost normal for a week but he started drinking-"  
"Wait, drinking, is that why you have a black eye ?" asked Amy interrupting Leonard again.  
"I should probably tell you what happened…" replied Leonard.

***Flashback***  
_Sheldon opened the door to his apartment and when he enter the apartment, he fell down on the floor. He was really drunk tonight._  
_"Sheldon?" asked Leonard walking down the hallway with his bedroom robe on._  
_"What the hell, Sheldon? Do you have any idea what time it is?"_  
_"I miss Amy!" yelled Sheldon who complained._  
_"Are you drunk?" asked Leonard noticing the slurring sentences that Sheldon was saying._  
_"Amy, come back!" yelled Sheldon between sobs._  
_"Sheldon, stop yelling, it's really late."_  
_"I can't, Leonard. You need to drive me to Amy's apartment so I can tell her that I love her and she can come back with me." begged Sheldon._  
_"No, Sheldon." shrugged Leonard, "Go to you're bedroom so you can rest, you need to go to work tomorrow."_  
_"Not without Amy, I love her and I'm ready to move the relationship forward. Now take me to her house so I can engage in coitus with her" replied Sheldon._  
_"Sheldon, you don't know what your saying. Just go to your bedroom."_  
_"Drive me to Amy's apartment, right now!"_  
_"NO!" said Leonard a little louder, he was really getting frustrated._  
_"Fine, I'll drive there by myself where is..." Sheldon looked around the room for the Leonard's keys,"Um, your car keys, give me your car keys." said Sheldon trying to find Leonard's car keys._  
_"First of all, you don't even know how to drive and second of all, you can't drive right now when your drunk." replied Leonard crossing his arms to his chest._  
_"I NEED to go to Amy's apartment!" begged Sheldon._  
_"No, you aren't going to her apartment. Now, got to your bedroom, Sheldon."_  
_"I MISS her, Leonard!" sobbed Sheldon._  
_"Sheldon, calm down it's gonna be okay. You me to make you some tea?"_  
_"I want Amy!" said Sheldon, this broke Leonard's heart in all the years he has known Sheldon. Leonard has never seen him so sad about anything._  
_"Sheldon, it's late and she is asleep right now." said Leonard._  
_"Can we go to her apartment tommorow?" asked Sheldon._  
_"Sure we can, buddy." replied Leonard._  
_"Leonard?" asked Sheldon again before leaving to his bedroom._  
_"Yes, Sheldon?"_  
_"Could you make me some tea?" asked Sheldon._  
_"Sure" replied Leonard shortly. After Leonard made Sheldon's tea, he saw that Sheldon was asleep on the couch already._

***End Of Flashback***

"Wait, that's not bad." replied Amy.  
"It got more worse when he started drinking more. He was angry when he was drunk always talking about you, Amy."  
"Really?" asked Amy not believing anything that Leonard was telling her.  
"It got very bad that we had to call his mom, he went to 3 weeks of rehab and he just got out of rehab last week. So far, it been okay except he doesn't talk a lot and he still doesn't want to leave his room or eat. I guess it's okay." said Leonard.  
"I think I should probably get going." said Amy, just hearing made her feel guilty and she just couldn't believe what has happen to Sheldon for the past three months.  
"Will you come tomorrow, it is pizza night?" asked Penny.  
"I don't know if Sheldon would be okay with me being here." replied Amy.  
"I'll go ask him." said Leonard.  
"SHELDON!" Leonard yelled out Sheldon's name and Amy was a bit frighten at Leonard's yelling.  
"It's okay, it's the only way you can get Sheldon out of his bedroom." said Leonard.  
"What do you want, Leonard?" asked Sheldon, he was already in his pajamas.  
"Could Amy come over tomorrow?" asked Leonard.  
_Oh god, I don't think I can handle sitting next to Amy for so long without wanting to apologize, but if I say no they will ask._ Sheldon wasn't sure to either say yes or no.  
Amy was watching Sheldon to see his reaction, but his face just showed a blank expression.  
"Sure." said Sheldon shortly as he went back to his room.  
"Well, I'll see you tommorow, Ames." said Penny.  
"Bye." said Amy shortly and left.  
_Oh my god. Sheldon had changed over the past 3 months..._ thought Amy as she walked down all the flights of stairs.

Sheldon was in his room, he couldn't sleep, all he could think about now was Amy. He had hear the conversation in the living room, he started thinking._ Amy asked about Leonard's eye, did they tell her that I hit Leonard? I didn't mean to, if she didn't already hate me, she probably does now_. Sheldon started remembering the night that he hit his best friend.

**A/N: Don't forget to review. Thanks again for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Faking My Own Suicide**

**A/N: Thanks to my wonderful Beta-Reader MissMusicGeek13 for doing a great job and Thanks for reading don't forget to review**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters form The Big Bang Theory all rights go to their original owners**

**Chapter Four**

Sheldon couldn't sleep after Amy left and he hadn't seen her in such a long time. Amy asked about Leonard's eye but they didn't tell her that he did it, but if they did then she probably already hates him by now.  
Sheldon didn't mean to hurt Leonard, it just happened. Did he hurt him? Yes, but did he forgive himself for it? No.

Sheldon didn't mean to hit his own best friend/roommate. But it still happened and he could remember exactly how it happened and once again he hated his eidetic memory.

***Flashback***

_Sheldon had gone to the 'Cheesecake Factory' to get drunk like he did after work every day. Sheldon always made sure not to go during Penny's shifts because he knew that she wouldn't sell him any alcohol._  
_On a Friday afternoon, Sheldon planned to spend the day drinking. Lately when he was drunk, he started acting aggressive and he felt like he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. He felt like he needed to punch someone in the face, he wanted to blame someone for all the bad things that has happened in his life. Sheldon knew it wouldn't help him to get Amy back at all, but he just had so much anger bottled up inside of him. Sheldon started remembering a conversation that he had with his father a long time ago._

_"Shelly, one day you will find a young lady that you'll love with all your heart. Do you know what she will do?" asked Sheldon's father with his Texan accent very noticeable._

_"No."_  
_"She'll take your hear and tear it into little pieces and you want to know what y'all should do?" asked Sheldon's father waiting from him to reply._  
_"No, I have no idea." Sheldon said shaking his head._  
_"Pick up a bottle and forget that it ever happened okay? Promise me you won't ever be pinning over a young lady, alright?"_  
_"I promise, dad." Sheldon seemed confused; he had no idea what he was promising._  
_"Good, no son of mine is going to be upset over some woman because you're a Cooper."_

_That day Sheldon had no idea that his father was right. A woman did come into his life and he fell in love with her but she broke his heart, so he drank all afternoon until he ran out of money and got kicked out. Sheldon walked home because it was the middle of the night and he had to go to work tomorrow._  
_Maybe I'll skip work tomorrow._  
_Thought Sheldon as he was climbing the stairs to his apartment building, he felt dizzy and he kept on tripping on the stairs. When he finally reached the top of the stairs, he took out his keys and opened the door to his apartment. The apartment was dark, Sheldon couldn't see around the apartment and that is when Sheldon fell on the floor causing a long noise to be heard from Leonard._

_"Sheldon, is that you?" asked Leonard rubbing his eyes trying to wake himself up, he was in his bedroom robe._  
_"I'm sorry, Amy..." said Sheldon mumbling almost half asleep._

_"I knew it, it's you, come on, Sheldon let's get you to bed." Leonard said._

_"Amy...I miss you."_

_"Sheldon, get up." Leonard rolled eyes because he was getting annoyed._

_"Alright, I'm getting up." Sheldon got up from the floor._

_"Now, let's go to Amy's apartment." Sheldon said in a slurred voice._

_"We can go to her apartment later." Leonard replied._

_"You ALWAYS say later, but you never take me!" yelled out Sheldon, his voice sounding suddenly full of anger and rage._

_"Sheldon, calm down!" pleaded Leonard, not wanting to wake up the neighbor._

_"No, I won't calm down! Now take me to Amy's apartment or give me your keys!" demanded Sheldon._

_"Sheldon, your way too drunk, please just go to bed."_

_"No, I'm not tired. Take me to Amy's apartment NOW!" yelled Sheldon getting angrier than ever._

_"I can't because you're too drunk and you'll say things you don't mean, and then regret it in the morning, just go to your bedroom, Sheldon." Leonard replied, trying to convince him not to go._

_"Take me to Amy's apartment, Leonard!" Sheldon's face was boiling red and he was screaming on the top of his lungs._

_"Sheldon, if-" said Leonard, but he was interrupted by Sheldon's yelling._

_"LEONARD, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. NOW TAKE ME TO AMY'S APARTMENT OR YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET IT!" said Sheldon threatening Leonard._

_"Sheldon-"_  
_Before Leonard could even finish his name, he was interrupted by a hit in the face. Leonard covered his face and screamed in agony._

_"Damn it, Leonard! Take me to Amy's apartment!" said Sheldon beating Leonard really bad; he hadn't noticed that Leonard was bleeding. "Leonard! Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Sheldon saw Leonard's eye that it was swelling and his nose was covered in blood._

_"What the hell, Sheldon?! Why did you..." Before Leonard could say anything else, he passed out and Sheldon ran in his room and shut his door. Sheldon called Penny and tried going to sleep that night, but he couldn't because he felt guilty of what he done to his best friend._

_After that night, Sheldon never went home drunk again because he was afraid that if he did, he would hit Leonard again. Leonard had to find him on the streets and then his mom came to visit Sheldon when she heard about his drinking and how he beat up Leonard. It was in the morning and Sheldon didn't know that she was coming to visit him._

_Knock_  
_Knock_  
_Knock_

_"Come in," said Sheldon balancing himself with his elbow on his bed. When he saw his mom come into his bedroom, he was surprise that she came to visit him._

_"Mom, what are you doing here?" asked Sheldon._

_"Don't you dare mom me, Shelly. What is this all about that I'm hearing that you're drinking alcohol?" snapped Mary Cooper._

_"Don't yell, mom. My head hurts." Sheldon said, rubbing his forehead._

_"Sheldon Lee Cooper, do you have a hang over? I knew it because you were drinking and I was all plumb concerned about y'all and you've been drinking this whole time."_

_"Mom, calm down. I had a few drinks last night, but that's was it."_

_"That's not what Leonard said, he said that you've been drinking a lot and that you're wondering the streets like a drunken fool just like your father did."_

_"Fine, I have been drunk but only because I miss Amy..." said Sheldon holding back the tears, "She broke up with me, mom."_  
_Sheldon started sobbing, he couldn't handle it anymore._

_"Its okay, Shelly..." replied Mary as she sat on Sheldon's bed as she was trying to comfort him._

_"I miss her, mom." said Sheldon between sobs._

_"I know you do, Shelly. But that's no reason to be drinking and getting drunk."_

_"I know, mom but when I drink, I forget how depressed I am. Even if it just for a couple of hours..." replied Sheldon composing himself._

_"Shelly, I want you to be honest with me, alright? How often have you been drinking?"_

_"Um..." replied Sheldon shifting nervously in his spot._

_"Sheldon Lee Cooper..." replied Mary being a little more threateningly._

_"Fine...every day..." replied Sheldon, unable to look at his mother in the eye._

_"We need to get you help, Shelly. Shelly, you have an addiction."_

_"Mom, I'm fine, really." Sheldon said quickly_

_"No, Shelly, you can't face this alone. You need professional help, I heard you hurt Leonard badly."_

_"It was an accident, mom. I didn't mean to hurt my own friend, I would never hurt Leonard purposely." Sheldon said feeling guiltier by the second._

_"Get help, Shelly. If you don't do it for yourself then me and your friends-"_  
_"If I did go how long would I stay?" asked Sheldon interrupting Mary._

_"For a couple of days, but you can do it, Shelly."_

_"No, I can't go with all those strangers and the germs and-"_

_"Shelly if you don't get help, it will get worse and then you'll end up a drunken fool like your father!" screamed Mary_  
_interrupting her son and burst out sobbing._

_"Mom, why are you crying?" Sheldon asked._

_"I don't want to see you waste your life, Shelly..." replied Mary wiping away her tears._

_Sheldon hated to see his mom cry, but he still didn't want to go to rehab._

_"I won't, I promise, but I don't need to go to rehab, mom." Sheldon said trying to reassure his mom._

_"Please Sheldon; you owe it to Leonard and me."_

_Damn... thought Sheldon._  
_"Fine, I'll do it..." Sheldon reluctantly agreed and Mary visibly seemed happier._

_"Great, don't worry. I'm sure you will only be there a couple of days."_

_"Don't worry, I already packed my things, it's in my car. I already applied y'all to one of them alcohol rehabilitation centers. Now come on, let's go."_

_"Wait, I need to tell Leonard that I'm going to rehab." said Sheldon._

_"I already told Leonard, not let's go Shelly." said Mary, practically dragging Sheldon out of his apartment._

_That is when Sheldon went to rehab and he hated it a lot. From the moment he got there, he hated everything about it, the nurses always told him that he become a better person and the doctors talked to him like he were a child, and all the stupid classes he had to take. The only thing he liked was spending time outside._  
_Sheldon thought that nature would be terrible, but it was actually nice and peaceful that it helped him think. Sheldon had been there two weeks and he started to like it, but then he heard that he was allowed to go back home. Sheldon started panicking that if he went back home, he would have all his old problems back. One night, he got a bottle that had alcohol and he made sure a nurse saw him drink it. It got him another week of rehab, but eventually he had to go back home, back to all his old problems._

_Sheldon eventually got better though, but he didn't talk a lot and Leonard had to beg him for he him eat and talk. All he did was work; if he didn't work, the pain in his chest would come back and it would get better for him to keep telling himself that he could live a happy life again, but he knew it wasn't true. He knew that he would never be happy again._

***End of Flashback***

**A/N: Thanks for reading Chapter Five on the works please review just push that button and review**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Faking My Own Suicide**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update I update faster If people review**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from The Big Bang Theory Nor do I gain profit form writing this story all rights go to their original owners Chuck Lore and Bill Prady **

**Chapter Five**

Amy woke up and she checked the time. It was 7:50 in the morning. If she didn't hurry she would be late for work. Amy quickly took a shower, got dressed, ate breakfast, and ran down the stairs, and she barely made it to work on time. At work she had a good time. Everything went smoothly,and she didn't have any problems with the monkeys from her nicotine addiction study. On her way home from work Amy sent a quick text to Penny.

**Hi Penny, are you working or do you want to do something before we go to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. :)**

A few minutes later Amy got a reply.

**My shift just ended I'll invite Bernadette over to my place and we can talk a little before we have to go over and eat with the boys how does that sound? :)**

Amy smiled this is just what she needed to take her mind off of Sheldon. Honestly, she didn't want to go over and eat at Sheldon's apartment because she always felt like it was awkward around him. What made it worse is that she found out that he started drinking after they broke up. Amy had heard that Sheldon didn't handle the break up well,but she never expected him to drink.

_ It was a good thing he went to rehab._ Amy thought as she got ready to go to Penny's apartment.

Sheldon was in his room doing work, but he suddenly felt tired of working, and decided to go in the living room and watch Star Trek. He wasn't really paying attention though. He was thinking about Amy. She was going to come over again. Sheldon wasn't sure if he should be happy that Amy was coming over or terrified.

"Sheldon?" Leonard said surprised that Sheldon was out of his room. Sheldon would never get out of his room Not even to watch Star Trek he would usually just work in his room.

"Yes Leonard." Sheldon replied.

"What are you doing?" Leonard  
Said curious to see why Sheldon was out of his room.

"Watching TV." Sheldon said.

"oh well I'm glad your finally out of you room. I'm going to get the food do you want to come?" Leonard asked.

"No" Sheldon responded. As Leonard was about to leave Sheldon stopped him.

"Leonard wait." Sheldon said.

"Yeah Sheldon?" Leonard said he hadn't talk to Sheldon for this long in a while.

"You think…I mean I know it's been a while, but maybe… you think I can go paint balling with you guys next week?" Sheldon asked shyly.

Leonard smiled Sheldon was started to get better even if it was just a little bit.  
"yeah sure you can buddy." Leonard said.

_Sheldon's finally getting better _ Leonard thought.

_Knock Knock Knock_  
Amy knocked on Penny's door.

"Hey Ames how are you?" Penny asked.

"Hi Penny, I'm fine." Amy said.

"Hi Amy." Bernadette said.

"Hi Bernadette," Amy said She was happy to see her she was sitting on Penny's couch drinking wine.

"Come on sit down. Do you want wine?" Penny asked.

"Yes please." Amy said as she sat down.

"So Bernadette how's Howard?" Amy asked.

"Howie's fine he finally stopped bragging about his trip to space. I love him, but it was kind of getting annoying." Bernadette said.

"Oh that's good, so Penny have you gotten any acting jobs?" Amy said.

"Yeah, actually I got a part in a play it was pretty good they loved it" Penny Said then sat down next to Amy.

"Really many people where there?" Amy asked.

"A pretty big number like 5 or maybe 10 which was a big improvement over last time"

"Really how many people where there last time?" Amy asked.

"Like one" Penny said.

"oh too bad" Amy said

"No I think he really liked it" Penny said

"Well that's good" Amy said happy that at leases Penny's life was OK.

"So Amy how have you been since…" Penny stopped talking she always tried to avoid the topic of her break up with room was suddenly very quiet, and it felt awkward.

_Knock knock Knock_

_Thank god _Penny thought as she got up to answer it.

"Hey Penny," Leonard said Giving her a quick kiss in the lips "I just came back from picking up the food Howard and Raj are already there." Leonard said grinning

"Why are you so happy?" Penny asked

"Oh it's just Sheldon he's talking to Howard and Raj." Leonard said

"Really like an actual conversation?" Penny asked Shocked.

"Yeah! And just earlier he asked if he could go paint balling with us!" Leonard said like an excited little kid.

"I think he's getting better come on go see for your self." Leonard said practically dragging Penny to his apartment.

"OK, but shouldn't we wait for Amy and Bernadette?" Penny asked

"Oh I didn't even notice, Hi Amy hi Bernadette." Leonard said.

"Hi Leonard" They both said in unison as they got up.

"come on let's go" Penny said standing up eager to see Sheldon talking again. Everyone followed her into the apartment

"Hey guys" Leonard said but he wasn't noticed because Sheldon and Howard were arguing.

"Sheldon you are so wrong. Wolverine was not born with bone claws." Howard said.

"Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think if I were wrong, I'd know it?" Sheldon said sounding like his old self making Penny, Leonard, Amy, and Bernadette smile.

"OK first of all…"

"Give it up, dude, you're arguing with a crazy person." Raj said Interrupting Howard

"I'm not crazy. My mother had me-" Sheldon stopped talking when he saw Amy in the door way He suddenly didn't feel like talking or eating. He just sat there.

"Hey Sheldon" Leonard said hoping to get Sheldon to talk again. Sheldon just nodded. His heart hurt.

_Oh no He barley started to open up again and I had to come and ruin it_. Amy thought.

"Sheldon aren't you going to say hi" Penny asked trying to make him talk._ He was doing so well I wonder what made him- Of course AMY he must feel sad around her _Penny thought

Sheldon waved. This made Amy feel worse than she already did, if that was even possible.

"Dude Sheldon please say something. You were doing so well." Raj pleaded. He didn't want to go back to moody Sheldon, even annoying Sheldon was better than moody Sheldon.

Sheldon still said nothing, and his eye started twitching. His head was really hurting, and he felt like he was going to pass out. Also his heart was beating really fast he was afraid he was going to have a heart attack.

"Sheldon are you OK?" Leonard asked considered for his friend.

"I'm sorry Leonard, but I'm not feeling, so well I think I'll take my pills and just go to bed." Sheldon said.

"No, Sheldon stay and eat with us you were just starting to talk" Leonard said

"No I…I just can't." Sheldon said and he started to get up and leave.

"but your still going paint balling next week right?" Leonard pleaded

"sorry" Sheldon said as he started to get up.

"No!" Amy yelled everyone looked at her, and Sheldon slowly sat back down.

"Sheldon sorry if I ruined your evening. I'll leave just please don't ignore your friends there trying to help you." Amy said leaving the apartment

She still cares about me? Maybe this means she doesn't hate me. Sheldon thought.

"Amy wait!" Sheldon said, Amy froze in her tracks that's the first time Sheldon directly talked to her Since they broke up.

"Yeah Sheldon." Amy said.

"Don't leave You can stay." Sheldon said.

"will you stay?" Amy said

Sheldon hesitated, but after a moment of silence he reluctantly agreed.

"Yes" Sheldon said patting the seat next to him inviting Amy to sit down.

"Thank you Sheldon." Amy said sitting down next to Sheldon.

"okay I'm glad your staying Sheldon are you also going paint balling with us next week?" Leonard asked trying to take advantage of his friends good mood

"of course" Sheldon said Leonard smiled

"Leonard would you hand me my pills and a bottled water" Sheldon asked.

"Sure" Leonard said handing him water and his pills

"thanks Leonard," Sheldon said "oh and… umm Leonard"

"Yeah Sheldon?"

"can we go to the comic book store tomorrow?" Sheldon asked

"I thought you were working tomorrow afternoon?" Leonard said

"Yeah I decide to take a break from work,"Sheldon said "it's starting to get exhausting."

"That's great" Leonard said.

"So, Howard as I was saying wolverine WAS born with retractable bone claws." Sheldon said.

"Really prove it." Howard said.

"Fine wait here." Sheldon said and marched into his room.  
A few minutes later he came out with a smug look on his face holding up a comic book.

"Wolverine: Origin. Miniseries issue two, page 22. Retractable bone claws." Sheldon said.

"let me see that." Howard said not ready to admit defeat.

"Well I'll be dammed" Howard said reading the page.

while Howard and Sheldon were arguing Amy received a text

**Hey Amy, it's Stuart from the comic book store :) I was wondering if you wanted to go get coffee or go see a movie sometime**

Amy didn't know what to do. I mean she wasn't seeing Sheldon anymore, but she still felt bad about. It wasn't cheating because they weren't going out anymore,so why did she feel bad. Maybe she was afraid that Sheldon would start working more and more until they never saw him again. I mean Sheldon was just starting to get better if he found out that she was dating Stuart he would go crazy.

_I should ask Penny. I'll just try and enjoy the evening _Amy thought

"so Sheldon how long do you have to keep on taking those pills" Amy asked

" A couple more days. at least that's what the doctor said" Sheldon replied

"That's good, so how your work coming along." Amy asked trying to keep a conversation with Sheldon.

"great actually I think i'm very close to a break through with my work in M- theory that may win me my Nobel prize in physics." Sheldon said

"That great Sheldon!" Amy said genuinely happy for Sheldon

The rest of the night went smoothly. Everyone had a good time even Sheldon, but then it started to get late and everyone left. Amy stopped Penny in the hallway and showed her the text

"What should I do?" Amy asked

"I think you should go" Penny said. She loved Sheldon as a friend, but he didn't want to move the relationship forward with Amy, and a little jealousy didn't do anyone any harm.

"but what about Sheldon?" Amy said.

"Well, you guys aren't dating anymore and you have a right to go see other people. Just don't tell Sheldon because he just started getting better."

"I don't know." Amy said.

"Just think about it Stuarts a nice guy and you can't keep waiting for Sheldon forever."

Stuart was OK, but she wasn't waiting for Sheldon to come back. was she? I mean she hasn't gone on ant dates since they broke up, but its not because she was waiting for Sheldon to come back or anything. Maybe she was waiting for Sheldon to come back, but she couldn't wait forever

"OK I think about it." Amy said and headed home. Penny had a point she couldn't wait for Sheldon and if she didn't like Stuart she could just stop going out with him. What did she have to lose. Maybe Stuart would turn out to be nice, and they could be happy together. Amy shook her head what was she thinking she loved Sheldon, but he just wanted a relationship of the mind. So Amy sent Stuart a message back before going to bed.

**Sure how about a movie :) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Faking My Own Suicide**

**A/N: thanks for reading review**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Chapter six**

**Sure how about movie :)**

It had been two weeks since Amy sent that text. She and Stuart had gone on a few dates, and Stuart was nice. Amy still didn't tell Sheldon. Only Penny and Leonard knew because Amy was afraid that Sheldon would work himself to death if he found out she was dating Stuart. Amy really liked Stuart, but she couldn't see herself liking him more than just a friend. Amy and Stuart haven't gotten farther than a kiss on the cheek. Amy didn't know why, but she couldn't bring herself to kiss him on the lips every time she tried she would think of Sheldon, was it because she still loved him. No she had to convince herself that she was no longer in love with the brilliant minded Sheldon Cooper.

* * *

_Amy still cares about me?_ Sheldon thought that can't be true after all the bad things he did, and they way he treated her how can she still care about him? Why couldn't he stop thinking about her? She was always on his mind even when he was working. Sheldon wasn't stupid he knew Amy was going out with Stuart he just didn't think that they would still be going out. He was jealous, but he would never admit it. He cared a great deal for Amy, He loved they way she talked and how she always understood him and- WAIT did he just say he LOVED her? LOVE what was love? he once Looked it up all it said was:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails

Was that love? Amy was all of those things patient, kind, and every time he did something wrong she didn't hold it against him. Love was it something more than just a chemical reaction in you head. Sheldon had many degrees and doctorates, but none of them helped him figure out what love was. When Leonard said he was in love he seemed like he was the happiest man alive, but when he told Penny, and she rejected him he acted as if his whole world fell apart right before his eyes. Sheldon mocked him Because he let his feeling get the better of him like he was some hippie, but know he finally understood what heartbreak felt like.

Was love the feeling he had for Amy. Maybe Amy was love. Amy was patient, Amy was kind, and Amy never gave up on him. Maybe was what Sheldon felt for Amy was love, but whenever he caught himself thinking about it he just assumed he had gone crazy, or sick, but Sheldon was sure now he was 100% sure he was in LOVE with Amy Farah Fowler, and thats all the evidence he needed. Now came the even harder question should he tell her?

* * *

Amy was going on another date with Stuart. She didn't know if she should try, and kiss him on the lips this time? Was she ready to forget Sheldon, and move on or will Sheldon forever hold her heart.

Would Sheldon ever be the same? Would he forget her, and act like nothing ever happened? She knew Sheldon for 3 years now, but she had no idea what he was thinking about now, but she had to go over to Penny's to ask her what she should do about her date with Stuart.

_Knock knock knock_

"Oh hey Ames how are you?" Penny said opening the door inviting her in.

"just fine, but what should I do about Stuart?" Amy asked

"Whats wrong I thought you liked him?"

"I do that's the problem?" Amy said

"how is that a problem?" Penny asked

"Because I fell bad that I only kissed on the cheek and we've been going out for weeks."

"Well why don't you move the relationship forward than ?" Penny asked

"Because of Sheldon" Amy said

"I know, but just don't tell him. We've kept you relationship with Stuart this long."

"It' not that it's…well I love him" Amy said

Penny knew Amy loved Sheldon. Anyone who talked to Amy about Sheldon could see that she loved him, but hearing her say was different. I guess you could say it surprised her

* * *

Sheldon was going to ask Penny advice on what to do about Amy he was about to knock when he heard Amy's voice. He heard her say

"It's not that it's…well I love him" Sheldon gasped really loud then ran back into the apartment. He made himself some tea while he thought about what he just heard.

_Amy loves Stuart_

_Amy loves Stuart_

_Amy loves Stuart_

_How can Amy love Stuart?_ That's what he heard right? I mean she couldn't be talking about him? They broke up and she was dating Stuart - Even though nobody knew that he knew- so she must of been talking about him?

Stuart out of all people she had to fall in love with **HIM.** Sheldon was furious. He needed to go to the comic book store and teach Stuart a lesson, but he couldn't wait for tomorrow, or ask Leonard to take him. He had to go now, but he didn't want to go on the bus. How would he get there? Just then Leonard walked in the room and put his car keys back in the bowl and put the takeout food on the table.

"Hey Sheldon." Leonard said.

_Leonard's car I can go in Leonard's car_ Sheldon thought

"Sheldon?" Leonard said again

"huh oh hello Leonard does you car have a full tank of gas?" Sheldon asked

"Yeah I just got it filled why?"  
Leonard asked

"Thanks" Sheldon said, but before Leonard could ask why he was thanking him Sheldon had already gotten Leonard's car keys and left the apartment.

"Sheldon! Come back! Where are you going?" Leonard screamed, but it was too late Sheldon left.

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Hi Leonard" Penny said

"Hey Penny, Hi Amy do you guys know where Sheldon's going in such a hurry" Leonard asked

"No why where is Sheldon?" Penny asked

"I don't know he ran off after He asked me if my car had a full tank of gas and he took my car keys." Leonard said

"Don't tell me he's going to drive" Penny said recalling the time Sheldon had to drive her to the hospital.

"I wonder where he went me and Penny were just talking about My relationship with Stuart and- OH MY GOD STUART Guys I think Sheldon went to the comic book store!" Amy exclaimed

"Come on let's go before Sheldon hurts Stuart" Leonard said Sheldon wasn't very strong, but compared to Stuart he was like the hulk.

* * *

Sheldon was driving as fast as he could to the comic book store. He was mad at Stuart, but something was also bothering him. He just didn't know what it was, and then it hit him. What he was doing was wrong. He shouldn't hurt Stuart just because Amy fell in love with him. It wasn't Stuarts fault. Sheldon felt bad and was about to turn back and go home when he had another Idea and continued to drive to the comic book store. Sheldon was going to go over to the comic book store, and tell Stuart to take good care of Amy, and and then maybe He and Amy could at least still be friends. Even though that's not what Sheldon wanted.

Sheldon finally reached the comic book store and parked. He slowly made his way to the store, and then he saw Stuart. Sheldon wanted to punch him, but then he remembered the reason he was here, and calmed himself down, and walked over to where Stuart was.

"Hey Sheldon. Where are the rest of the guys?" Stuart asked

"They didn't come. I need to talk to you Stuart." Sheldon replied

"About what?"

"Amy" Sheldon said

"I know that you two are dating, well I always knew." Sheldon said.

"umm… yeah Leonard told me not to tell you that." Stuart said suddenly becoming very nervous.

"I just want to ask you one  
Thing." Sheldon said in a calm, but serious tone.

"Yeah what is it?" Stuart asked a little bit frightened.

"Take of her for me." Sheldon said his voice much more caring.

"What?" Stuart asked he expected Sheldon to be mad, but he wasn't expecting this.

"I said take care of her for me. I don't want to her to get hurt. She is sweet, and loving, but she gets hurt easily. I would take care of her, But she doesn't seem interested in being my girlfriend Anymore, So take care of her for me please." Sheldon begged.

"Yeah sure I promise" Stuart said

"Also Stuart if you hurt her I will kill you" Sheldon said vey seriously.

"I won't" Stuart said.

"Oh and Stuart one more thing before I go."

"What?" Stuart said

"Thanks." Sheldon said and gave Stuart one of his famous Sheldon Cooper hugs.

* * *

Amy, Leonard, and Penny drove to the comic book store as fast as they could, but when they got there nothing could prepare then for what they saw next. The saw Sheldon Cooper hugging a very confused looking Stuart. The hug only lasted a few seconds, but it still surprised them that Sheldon was **HUGGING** Stuart. Finally Sheldon let go of Stuart, and Penny, Leonard, and Amy went over to Sheldon.

"Sheldon why were you **HUGGING** Stuart?" Leonard said putting emphases on the word hugging.

"Oh nothing Important just because he saved me a copy of a new comic book." Sheldon lied smoothly.

I really I'm getting the hang of this lying thing. Sheldon thought.

"but Stuarts done that before, and you never hugged him?" Leonard asked.

"Oh It's because I really like that comic book." Sheldon said.

"Stuart is that true." Amy said. Everyone was facing Stuart, and waiting for an answer. Sheldon winked at Stuart telling him to go on with the lie.

"Umm… yeah. Sheldon got really excited, and gave me a hug as thanks." Stuart said.

"Oh Ok." Amy said.

**Ring Ring Ring**

Leonard phone rang as he picked it up.

"Hello" Leonard said

"Hey where are you guys? I came in your apartment and the door was unlocked." Howard asked.

"Oh apparently Sheldon Ran off to the comic book store, to give Stuart a hug."

"What?" Howard said.

"I'll explain later don't worry were coming." Leonard said ending the call.

"It was Howard come let's go." Leonard said.

"Ok bye Stuart." Sheldon said.

"Bye guys." Stuart said.

"Oh and Stuart." Sheldon said.

"Yeah Sheldon." Stuart said.

"Don't break your promise." Sheldon said which made him receive strange look from everyone.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Stuart said.

Amy was very confused she knew that Sheldon, and Stuart were lying, but she didn't say anything because they were doing a good job at it which surprised her. She never thought that Sheldon would ever get good at Lying. Sheldon's eye didn't twitch, and he didn't look nervous at all.

"Amy." Sheldon said.

"Oh um… hi Sheldon." Amy said she felt so awkward. Sheldon was talking to her. Amy just stared at the ground feeling stupid.

"Amy look at me." Sheldon said.

Amy was taken aback by Sheldon's tone of voice. It was so commanding, yet at the Same time caring. Amy looked up and  
For the first time in a long time stared into Sheldon's beautiful blue eyes.

"Amy." Sheldon said

"Yes Sheldon."

"Amy I know that I've been acting differently, and you haven't seen me much over the past months, but…"

"but?" Amy said.

"But, I was hoping we can still be friend obviously you have no more interest in being my girlfriend, so I was hoping we can still be friends. That is if you'll let me?" Sheldon  
Said.

"Of course I've missed you." Amy said she knew she loved Sheldon, but they couldn't be together, but she was still happy to at least have him as a friend.

"Great!" Sheldon said beaming.

He loved Amy, but she loved Stuart. He was just happy to have her as a friend. He wanted to be more, but that was impossible. Leonard made  
That **VERY VERY clear**

Then Sheldon did something that surprised everyone in the comic book store again.

He hugged Amy at first Amy was surprised, but then she slowly hugged him back.

This feels good I've missed her so much. Sheldon thought

I hope this never ends. Amy thought.

The hug lasted a good 15 seconds before Leonard interrupted them.

"Umm… guys I happy your friends again, but we need to get going or else the food will get cold. Howard, Raj, and Bernadette are already there." Leonard said.

"Ok then we should get going." Sheldon said.

"Ok let's go." Amy said she was sad that the hug ended.

"Hurry I don't want to ruin my schedule." Sheldon said.

And with that they went back home to eat dinner.


	7. Authors Note

**Authors note:**  
**I'm soooooooooooooooooo! Sorry I haven't updated like in forever the truth is I had writer block block for a week then something terrible happened…**

**My dog he… he… he got ran over by a car and passed away :(**

** it was like two months ago an I'm still depressed the worst part is the cat didn't stop :( all I know is that is was a red car. Sorry for making you listen to me you shouldn't have to it none of you business any way. I've been really sad and depressed and that's why I cant write all try and update as soon as I can, but it might take a while. I'm also thinking about getting a new dog even though I won't ever replace my old one, but they say it helps. What do you think I should do? Anyway I'm sorry I haven't updated, but now you know why so yeah I'll try an update as soon as I can now that I'm feeling a little bit better.**

**And for anyone reading that has lost there dog too read this poem it helps me feel better:**

_The Rainbow Bridge_

_Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge._  
_When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable._  
_All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind._  
_They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster._

_You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart._

_Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together..._


	8. Chapter 7

**Faking My Own Suicide**

**Chapter 7( I think it been such a long time since I last updated.)**

* * *

_-I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of crying. I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying-_

* * *

**Sheldon's P.O.V**

It's been month since me, and Amy became friends once again. I'm happy that I have her in my life again, but it's not enough. It will never be enough. I want to hold her, and kiss her whisper in her ear that I love her, but I can't. She's still dating Stuart. I act like I'm over it, but the truth is I'm not. Every time Amy talks about a date with Stuart I smile, and agree with her because that's what a 'supportive' friend is supposed to do. I hate being a supportive friend. Because the truth is every time she brings up her dates with Stuart I feel like I've been stabbed in the chest. I feel betrayed even though I know it's not her fault.

I know she's happy, but it still hurts. Sometimes when she talks about Stuart she looks at me for some reason. I not quite sure why though. Is she trying to see if I'm still jealous or sad? No. She looks at me as if she's trying to figure out a puzzle. The look on her face looks like hurt, anger, jealousy maybe, but why? Maybe I'm reading her expression wrong. I know I made leaps, and bound in how to read facial expressions, and what to do in social situation, but… but maybe this time I'm wrong. What could I have done to make Amy mad at me. Were friends again. I'm never rude to her. I support her. Actually I think I treat her better now then when we were dating, so why would she be mad at me? What have I done to her that would possibly make her mad at me? I wonder.

Whatever the reason it's not important, now I have something more important to do. I'm sick of pretending to be happy around everybody, so I have to put my plan into action. At the end of it Amy, and everyone else might be sad, but its for the best. Also I can't go on seeing Amy with someone else it breaks my heart. This is for the best today starts phase one of my plan.

* * *

**Amy's P.O.V**

A month a whole month! It's been a month since me, and Sheldon became friend again. I hate it. I'm glad were friend again. Friends. That's the part I hate. We will never be more than just that friends. I don't just want to be friend I want to be more than that. I want to go to the movies as more than just friends. I want to walk with Sheldon on the beach for a long stroll. I want to go to a restaurant again. I want to be more then just some friend. Sometimes I ask Sheldon what I should do for my next date, and he helps me. For some reason this bothers me. I don't know why. Maybe because I want him to tell me not to go on a date with Stuart. I want him to tell me that he love me or at least look angry, hurt, or uncomfortable. That why I stare at him when I talk about Stuart, but he acts normal. I get mad at him until a remember were not dating anymore. I'm dating Stuart. Then I get sad, but Sheldon doesn't notice, or if he does doesn't say anything about. I envy Sheldon he acts like nothing happened between us. He's supportive, and honestly he treats me better than when we were dating. Maybe he likes us better as just friends. No then why would he have been devastated, but now he so happy. Sheldon's up to something. I don't know what, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it. Just you wait Sheldon I'll figure out what your planning.

* * *

**Normal P.O.V**

First things first I need to go to the bank Sheldon thought. It was early in the morning and he walked slowly into the living room not wanting to wake Leonard. He went into his snake can and got all the money from it. He wanted to get the rest of his checks he didn't cash in but he would do that later, or else it would seem suspicious to the bank. Sheldon put on his shoes. He was about to put on his bus pants, but decided against it.

_After I'm done with this I not going to be able to act like I usually do. I guess I might as well get used to it now. Sheldon thought._

He walked to the bus stop, and waited for the bus to come. As he waited or the bus an old lady came by she looked about 60 years old if not more.

_What's an old woman doing here at this early? Sheldon thought._

She was carrying grocery bags, so Sheldon assumed she went shopping. She was having some trouble carrying the grocery bags. Sheldon felt awkward standing next to her. The he remembered something he read on the Internet about social conventions. Always help the elderly. Sheldon didn't like the idea though they should learn to take care of themselves. Sheldon glanced at the woman. Her arms were shaking a little bit. He sighed he couldn't believe what he was about to do.

_I am Going to have do this sooner or later. I might as well get it over with. Sheldon thought._

"Umm… Excuse me ma'am. Do you need any help with those?" Sheldon said as he pointed at the grocery bags.

The old woman's face light up like a Christmas tree. She smiled a little, but you could she the wrinkles on her face making her seem a bit older.

"Why, Thank you young man." she said handing her bags to Sheldon.

"No problem it's my pleasure." Sheldon said.

"You know there aren't many people these who would offer to help an old lady." she said.

"It no big deal. I'm just gals to be of some use." Sheldon said.

After that there was a long Awkward silence.

How long does it take a bus to come? Sheldon thought.

"So umm… what's your name?" Sheldon asked.

"Katherine, Katherine Lockhart."

"So Miss Lockhart-" Sheldon was cut off by Katherine "Oh don't call me Miss Lockhart that's too formal. Call me Katherine."

"Oh OK, so Katherine have you ever been married, or had any Children?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes, but My husbands in a Better place. As for my kids we don't talk much. They must of have forgotten there dear Mother." she said sadly.

_Darn why'd I ask her that, and why the heck_**( A/N: Even in his mind Sheldon can't use swears like dammit, and hell.)**_ isn't the bus here yet. Sheldon thought._

"Oh sorry I asked." Sheldon said.

Katherine didn't respond as the bus came. Sheldon was about to give Katherine her bags back, and step on the bus when she stepped on the bus too. She motioned Sheldon to follow her for they could continue their conversation on the bus.

"It's Okay you don't need to apologize." Katherine said as she sat down. So did Sheldon, but he wasn't as bothered by the germs because he was talking to Katherine.

"So why are you all alone carrying these heavy bags?" Sheldon asked.

"You see I font go out mush so I don't have any friends, and well you already know why my husband, and kids don't help me." Katherine said.

"What was his name?" Sheldon asked.

"My husbands name was Kent, Kent Lockhart." she said.

"So where are you going young man?" She asked.

"The bank." Sheldon responded

"Why?" she asked.

_Darn Why'd he ask me that think of a lie. Think of A lie Sheldon thought._

"oh to deposit money because I'm thinking of going on a vacation."  
Sheldon said.

_Wow. Did I just lie that good? Sheldon thought a bit surprised._

"Really? How nice. Oh here's my stop." she said. Sheldon handed Katherine her grocery bags.

"Wait! I never got your name." she said.

"Sheldon, Sheldon Cooper." Sheldon said.

"Well, then Thank you Sheldon I feel like your my friend. I hadn't had a friend in while." she said.

"I never got to ask, but are you planning to leave Pasadena. Forever?" she asked.

"How did you-" Sheldon was about to ask.

"Your smile."

"My smile?" Sheldon asked. She was the first one to see through his fake smile.

"Yeah your Smile. It doesn't quite reach your eyes."

"Yeah your right." Sheldon said.

"Are you going to come back?"

"No." Sheldon said.

"Well, then think carefully because once you leave you can never come back."

"Yeah, but it's for the best." Sheldon said.

"Are you sure? You know my Father used to say it's easier to stay the same then to start all over again." Katherine said as she seeped off the bus. Sheldon waved to her. He sat down and waited he had to get off the next stop. He thought about what Katherine had said.

_Maybe she has a point. I leave I'll have to get a new job, make new friends, get over all my phobias._** (A/N: Sheldon has a lot of Phobias.)** _And most importantly I'll never see Amy or my old friends ever again. Sheldon thought. No it's too late to turn back. It's for the best. Right! Right? Sheldon thought._

Sheldon stepped off the bus, and walked Leisurely towards the bank.

I'm going to do this. Sheldon said confidently in his mind as he stepped into the bank. Luckily he was there early so there wasn't much of a line. There was only 2 other people in line. He only waited 3 minutes. He gulped. It was his turn.

"Yes may I help you sir." said the chirpy bank teller.

"Umm… I would like to make a bank account." Sheldon said nervously. The bank teller didn't notice.

"Ok, take a seat, fill this out, and come back OK." She said her voice full of enthusiasm. Sheldon nodded in return. He went to go sit down.

He filled every thing out but the name he couldn't use the same name.

_Think come on it just a name. Hmm… what about… no that's a stupid name… maybe… no that name is obviously fake. Ah I got it. My new name will be Richard Thompson. Sheldon thought as he filled in the name._

He got up and gave the application to the bank teller.

"Thank you, Mr. Thompson." She said. **(A/N: not sure how to start a new bank account so let's just pretend this is how you do it)**

"Would you like to deposit some money?" She asked.

"Yes." Sheldon said. He gave her a whole wad of money. The bank looked surprised.

"Umm… I'm a doctor."Sheldon said.

"Oh Ok come again soon Dr. Thompson." She said.

_Well that was easier then I thought it would be. I'm getting way better at lying. Sheldon thought as he stepped out of the bank._

* * *

When Sheldon got home Leonard and everybody else was waiting for him.

"Sheldon! Where were you! We searched everywhere I was about to call the police! I was so worried about you!"

"Yeah did something happen?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, dude we were really worried." Raj said.

"Oh I was At the umm… bank because I forgot to deposit my check last month." Sheldon said.

_Well, at least it's not a total lie Sheldon thought._

Amy examined him closely. It was starting make him uncomfortable. He thought she figured out he was lying when she said. "Okay as long as your all right." Amy said. Everyone got up and left. "I thought he was in danger." Penny said a little annoyed that Sheldon wasted her time.

Sheldon ran to his room, and laid down on his bed.

_I'm exhausted. I'll just rest my eyes for a while. I'm I doing the right thing? Of course I am it's all for the best. Sheldon thought as he drifted off to sleep._

**A/N: kinda short, but it been so long since I updated. I had to post this. Sorry for taking so long. Also thanks to all the people who reviewed/Favorited/Followed 3.**


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